When love is just not enough to keep the relationship going, letting go and moving on from it, despite how difficult it may be, can be the best thing to do.
But how do you do that?
Read through our list of 20 experts who shared their advice on how to let go of someone and move on from the relationship.
Licensed Professional Counselor
That feeling of falling in love is so wonderful; you feel light, happy—like you are walking on air. And when it ends, the crash can be hard. Sadness and despair can be constant companions, and you may feel that you will be stuck in that place forever.
The truth is, you do have to be there for a while. The end of a relationship can be like a death of sorts, and you need time to grieve it.
Being with difficult emotions can be uncomfortable. Obviously, there are times we need to put them aside so that we can attend to the business of life, such as our work. But allowing yourself to feel the pain and have the tears is essential.
Facing feelings and using positive coping mechanisms is healthy. If we try to numb feelings with alcohol or other substances, or even by overeating, we are potentially creating additional problems, and in the meantime, we are not dealing with all the feelings around the relationship ending.
Ultimately, whether it’s the end of a relationship or something else that upsets us, we need to turn toward, and be with our feelings, rather than ignoring them.
Using your support systems is one good way to cope
Reaching out to friends and family who you trust can be helpful. Some people also find it useful to see a therapist to sort through everything that has happened to them, and to have a place to share all the difficult emotions and worries they are dealing with.
Participating in enjoyable activities that help you to feel better is also important
Perhaps exercising is something that helps you, or taking baths, or gardening, whatever it is for you, create space to spend time doing these things. It doesn’t mean you still won’t be hurting and dealing with all the emotional pain, but you might begin to find moments when you are actually experiencing some happiness.
Self-compassion is also very important
Take a moment and imagine what you might say to a good friend who was in your situation. Can you offer yourself some of that kindness? Can you mentally take care of yourself as you would a baby? Imagine holding yourself as you would a baby or a small child who was upset about something that happened.
If you find it difficult to offer yourself compassion (many people do), can you imagine seeing yourself through the eyes of some being you know loves and cares about you? They can be alive or dead, it can be a pet, or even God, as you experience God, if that works for you.
There are over a thousand studies on self-compassion, and the benefits can be very powerful.
Check your self-talk
What are you telling yourself about what happened? We talk to ourselves more than anyone else, so we really do need to attend to what we are saying! What is the meaning you are making of what happened? Are you saying things like, “I must be unlovable,” or, “I’ll never find anyone again?”
You can begin to reality check some of these thoughts. The way we think about and make sense of events that happen in our life informs the emotions we have.
For example, if you tell yourself you are unlovable, you are likely to feel pretty bad about yourself. If you tell yourself something like, “Well, for some reason it didn’t work out with my partner, but when I am ready, I will look for someone who is a better match for me,” you still may be sad about the end of the relationship, but you will not be feeling horrible about who you are.
Give yourself the time to move on
Finally, allow yourself the time you need to move through your experience before rushing into another relationship. Take care of your needs, be kind to yourself, and use your support systems. You will be in a much better place to begin a new relationship when you are more emotionally settled.
Owner and Founder, LUMA
Letting go of someone you love is one of the hardest things to do, but sometimes it is necessary for many reasons. If you find yourself in this predicament, here are a few approaches you can take to limit the heartache.
Cut all ties
This is something we hear time and time again, and it holds true. When you are trying to move on from someone you love, it is important to cease all communication with them. Don’t call or text them, don’t ask family or friends about them, don’t go to places that they visit regularly, and don’t you dare look at any of their social media pages.
If you hear information, contact, or see what they are up to on social media, this could interfere with your progress of getting over them because you are letting them still take up space in your mind!
Having zero communication with someone you love that you are trying to move on from will make it easier not to think as much and will help the transitioning stage in moving on run smoother.
Remember the bad times
When we are missing something, our brains have a way of tricking us into remembering why we are missing it. You won’t be missing someone for the bad times, only the good times, so that is what you will remember.
Remembering only the good times is dangerous because you will end up even more miserable about the situation. There must be reasons behind why you need to move on from someone you love, perhaps, irreconcilable differences or something more.
Think of those sight of the reasons you feel that you have to move on from the person you love because those reasons are more than likely very valid and credible reasons.
If you are busy doing, then you aren’t busy thinking too hard. Get out there and do things – join that acting class, see that new action flick, start making YouTube videos! Find a way to distract yourself from thinking too hard about that person.
This might help you go a few minutes without thinking about them, then a few hours, a few days, and before you know it, you might make it to a week without thinking about them!
Give yourself time
Time heals most wounds. Give yourself time and don’t hold yourself back by thinking in one month, I don’t want to be thinking about him/her anymore. When we give ourselves time limits, we will beat ourselves up if we don’t see it through.
Instead, don’t think about the time it will take. Who knows? It might take a few months, a year, two years, however long it takes the heartache eventually will fade.
Take care of yourself
Looking great makes us feel great. Take time out for yourself! Get a gym membership, do a closet makeover, go to the hair salon, and do whatever makes you feel good about yourself.
When you take good care of yourself, you will feel great, and this will help you during your healing process. When you feel great it is easier to look at other areas of your life that you might also want to work on, maybe it’s even working on the issues that resulted in you having to move on, or something else.
The main point is when you are in a positive mindset and feeling great about yourself, you will naturally try to make yourself feel great about other things in your life. This can open a window to self-reflection and eventual growth.
Sometimes the best thing we can do when we are faced with making a decision in life that is life-altering, and in this case, causing heartache, is to do some self-reflection. This is not to say what is happening is on you, or entirely on you.
Self-reflection is just a great habit to get into in general; it brings understanding, acceptance, and could result in growth. If you self-reflect on the relationship, how you were, and how the person you loved was, you never know, you might end up with some insight on why the decision to move on was for the best.
Even though this might not take away the heartache, it will give you a clearer understanding of why this is a decision you had to make and will allow the healing process to feel more necessary and all right.
Nance L. Schick, Esq.
Mediator and Conflict Resolution Coach | Founder, Third Ear Conflict Resolution | Author, DIY Conflict Resolution: Seven Choices and Five Actions of a Master
Observe how you feel around your relationship with this person
If you are anything less than the best version of yourself most of the time, this is not a good situation for you. It’s okay to have occasional disagreements and challenges.
Still, if you find yourself tensing up before you see them* (gender-neutral), your body and mind are trying to tell you that this is not compatible with who you are, what you want, and what is available to you.
This does not mean that they are bad; you don’t have to demonize them or hate them. But you are better suited for something and someone else. It took me a while to discover this, too, but you can be in relationships that are mutually loving and supportive.
Love really is unconditional. You can have relationships without control, manipulation, strings attached to gifts, neglect, and other abuses. It can be easy, fun, and free. Allow yourself the opening to have that.
Explore all the reasons you are lovable
Yes, you are lovable. You don’t have to demand it. Look around you, at the relationships that make you feel most alive and loved.
Consider the commonalities. Are they obligated to love you? (No one is, not even a parent.) Have they stood by you when you’ve made mistakes and forgiven you? Do they tell you what they think you need to hear so that you can grow into your power, or do they tell you what they think you want to hear? Do they stand for your greatness, or do they pull you down whenever you try to improve yourself?
You are lovable and have unconditional love somewhere. Identify it and model your relationships after the ones that push you to be your best, yet catch you when you fall, understanding that we all fall.
Understand that letting go doesn’t mean they are dead to you
It’s okay to still love someone you’ve parted ways with. You can wish them well and want the best for them without being in their lives every day.
If you find yourself pining for them or wanting to withhold your good wishes because you’re not still close to them, look within. Your love might have been conditional. Identify the conditions you put on it and why. Did you think they would provide you an escape from something in your life? Were you forcing a relationship you weren’t sure you needed but tried because others wanted you to have it? Did you try because you thought you should?
Again, the struggles in the relationship might be more about the compatibility of values, goals, and timing than the quality of the people in it. You can both be lovable, even if you don’t love being together. Love them from afar, and get to work at creating the love-filled life you want. You can have it, and you deserve it.
Nekisha Michelle Kee
Owner, Ultimate Match Agency
Letting go of someone you love and moving on has to be done in layers. Visual, emotional, and tangible to loose the psychological strong grip.
There are no quick fixes, but there are rituals when done consistently will ease the grief, fill the void, and shift the perception.
Ease the grief with pleasure
Now is the time to create your happy list of 100 and focus on crossing off the items on your list to heal grief through pleasure. Grief is an empty space where love once lived. You are now filling your grief with pleasure overload.
Fill the void with a memorial
Fill the void with a memorial that you can use to teach others the lessons you learned and the blessings you received from the relationship. In complete transparency, my date coaching and matchmaking agency was birthed from the pain and grief of several relationships I had to let go and move on. Now when I think of the past, I laugh because I get paid handsomely to talk about the love tragedy I experienced.
Shift the pessimistic perspective
A pessimistic perspective waters the seeds of feeling unworthy, lonely, and feelings of failure. However, there are better viewpoints, and when you find them make affirmations that affirm good feelings and inspire great hope. Understanding what you focus on and how you focus grows into feelings.
- Write on a piece of paper, the person’s full name, or use his or her picture.
- Say a prayer of gratitude and blessings over the person.
- Burn the picture or paper and bury the ashes in the earth or scatter at a large body of water.
Repeat your affirmations:
- “We walked as far as we could together and now its time to create the best time of my life without ———-.”
- “Thank goodness for a do-over; now I can meet the person who has been waiting patiently for me now that ———- is finally gone.”
- “The universe will never ever allow my relationship with ————— to be the best relationship. I will ever experience.”
Dr. Fran Walfish
Family and Relationship Psychotherapist | Author, The Self-Aware Parent
Most relationships send in hurt, anger, and disappointment. Each partner feels failed by the other in one way or another. Each one must ask themselves tough questions, “Why do I want to stay friends with my ex?” Is it because separation, endings, and loss are too painful? Is it because I still hold out hope for the relationship to go on?
Indeed, if there are children involved, it’s best to remain on friendly terms for the sake of the kids. But, when there are just two people who decide to break up, I think it is best to end it totally.
To change a romantic relationship into a platonic, one risks one partner wishing and hoping to rekindle the romance. It gets very sticky and complicated for your current or next partner. Jealousies, rivalry, compare and contrast, possessiveness, control, and insecurities brew.
Often, your current partner may feel her relationship with you is a triangle versus a dyad. Keep things clean and simple. Allow yourself to grieve and mourn the loss of a significant romantic relationship. This opens the door for new possibilities to come.
Many people can’t stop thinking about their ex obsessively to ease a feeling of loneliness. Others truly loved their ex and can’t let go. Some are afraid of getting out there again, so they keep their previous relationship alive as a way of staying involved and not feeling single again.
Start dating and enjoy
There is only one way to finally let go of your beloved ex, and that is to begin dating, enjoy the dating process, and replace your ex with someone who values you and treats you better. The key factor is the readiness to (finally!) let go.
Everyone holds on for a different length of time. Some people avoid the pain of loss and grief and bed hop by jumping from one person to the next quickly. Others who have been deeply hurt may close the vault to their heart shut and lock it away under the key. You need to know yourself and respect your timing. When you are ready to “let go” and try again, you will.
Stephanie Wijkstrom MS, LPC, NBCC
Founder and Psychotherapist, The Counseling and Wellness Center of Pittsburgh
Breaking up is incredibly difficult. Usually, both persons are impacted by the impending ending; the person who has been deliberating the break up may have been ruminating for days, months, or even years. The person who will receive the news can be shocked, hurt, and angry.
One thing is for sure, delaying the break up for ‘the right time’ is not the best way to let go.
The right time will never come because there really isn’t the best day to let your partner know that the relationship isn’t working for you anymore.
Delaying the break up also isn’t good for your partner, who likely senses that something is off if you care at all about this person. As a human, you should enact the breakup and give them the chance to heal and move on in life.
If you used to live in the same house
Things are abundantly more challenging if you live in the same home with a partner when you are trying to break up. Particularly as you disassemble housing, here are some good guidelines:
Start to sleep in different rooms after you initiate the breakup
The person who initiated breaking up would be best to take a separate room or the couch. Then just as in a divorce, you must talk about who gets the toaster and the Christmas ornament collection that you purchased that year when traveled together through Europe.
None of these conversations are easy, some people give up and say, ‘you take everything’ while others quibble over each nuance imagining that by winning these items they can overshadow the pain they feel in their heart over the loss of the relationship.
If you fear their reaction, it’s more reason to not delay moving out
Most every person worries about the reaction of their partner when they initiate a breakup, all for different reasons. If you fear that they will be hurt, you are likely right, but that isn’t a good reason to delay the course of action that you have decided upon.
If you fear for your safety, that is a good indicator that your partner has been violent and abusive.
It is a fact that the most dangerous time for victims of abuse is when they are leaving a violent relationship. Abusers notoriously hate losing control and attacks will amplify during that time. In this case, you should pack while the person is away, and the kinds of conversations to initiate closure for the partner receiving the news of the break up will not apply, safety trumps all.
If you still love the person who you want to break up with, be comforted by the knowledge that you are a human who attaches to those you love in a deep and meaningful way. Yet, loving someone is different from wanting to have a relationship with them.
Only you can decide if your attachment is strong enough for you to want to remain and repair. Yet it is true that love is not always enough to quiet the voices in your mind that are troubling you enough to consider leaving the relationship behind.
DCD Certified Divorce Coach, The Separation Project
I think the main issue of letting go of someone you still love is realizing one of 3 things as true:
- The person you love either does not love you back- maybe they do not want to or are not capable of the kind of love you want and need right now.
- The person you love is not interested in the same type of relationship you want or need right now.
- The person you love is not a good fit for what you want or need right now.
It takes a great deal of self-awareness and understanding to move on when these things are true in any relationship.
I truly think that journaling what you want in your ideal love relationship – creating a long list of wants and needs that you feel are match your values is beneficial.
Then go through your list and see what the person you love is currently providing you right now compared to your ideal partner list.
I find most people want an older version of the person they love back. Not who they are right now but, who they were maybe five years ago, or six months ago when they were attentive and interested. If you honestly look at the person, you may still love them, but they may no longer be the person that they were. It is almost like they have become a different person. You need to accept that they are no longer the same person you have in your head.
Everyone changes and transforms themselves many times over a lifetime. If you can take a step back, you may gain some perspective. Look at things with clarity, and getting very focused on what you ideally want will help make it easier to let go of the old relationship.
I do not think you have to stop loving the person, but you have to realize that the relationship has shifted, and their position in your heart must also shift to match how they are holding you in their hearts. You need to love them for who they have become, who they were in the past (acknowledging that it was in the past) and let go of the idea of who you want them to be.
You can never control who someone else truly is or behaves. You can only control how you show up in life.
Licensed Bilingual Psychotherapist | Relationship Expert | Owner, Heart Connection Center
Letting go of someone you love and move on is hard. It might feel like the pain will never go away, but if you take care of yourself and give yourself the time you need to heal, the pain will go away. Here are five tips you can do to help you let go and move on:
Cut off contact
It is important to stop calling, texting, and seeing your ex. Block them on your social media. You need this space and time for yourself to heal.
Let yourself grieve the loss
A breakup can feel like a death, in a way it is. The relationship is over, and this person may no longer be in your life. Giving yourself the time to feel sad, to feel mad, and let all of your feelings come in and go out. Emotions are like waves; they go in and out. And they will pass.
Reach out to your support system
Now is the time to lean on your friends and family. They can be your shoulder to cry on. Go out with a friend for lunch or to a movie. Distraction is a good tool, too; it can help you get your mind off your ex.
Remember why the relationship ended
Don’t focus or fantasize about what could have been or what you imagined. Things probably weren’t going well for a while. There were good reasons why it ended.
Examine the problems that led up to the breakup
How did you contribute to the problems? What did you accept as acceptable that maybe should not have been appropriate behavior by your ex? What were some red flags that you didn’t pay attention to? It is important to learn from the mistakes of this relationship. You will be in a better place for it when you are ready to go on and find new, healthier love.
Internet Entrepreneur | Owner, Dataflurry
I personally waited an extremely long time to let go of someone I loved and move on. I learned the hard way, but one thing made it worth it— I had my son towards the end of the marriage.
I married my first true love; yes, I dated before. But this was the one that I deemed forever. Everything was phenomenal. However, there was a big problem, and that was honesty.
I was 90% sure the marriage was over in 2012 and went through 3 major breakups and re-commitments from 2012 to 2018, which essentially took away six valuable years of my life.
When you know there are issues beyond your control that won’t change, that’s when you need to move on.
The main reasons we didn’t work was honesty, and I will be honest infidelity was a major problem. However, I admit during the beginning of the relationship, I wasn’t perfect, so I used that as an excuse for her behavior. Once I realized that I could no longer believe anything I was told, I had an epiphany that I was in an extremely depressing relationship.
I realized that in 2012, and foolishly waited six years to truly move on.
I did end up having my son, who’s turning 3 in a month , so I wouldn’t change my story. However, I will never repeat this situation because the harm and lost time was way too much to endure.
Mary J. Gibson
Relationship Expert, DatingXP
All good things eventually come to an end. What seems permanent today can be ephemeral tomorrow. But when a relationship ends, it is more difficult than all the ends we will face. Love is hard to give up, especially when you had put all your stakes on it.
The way the future unfolds is something we can never predict, so when a relationship ends, the love you share makes things difficult. You have to learn how to let go, which honestly, is better said than done.
You’re allowed to be sad for the end
Just because the break-up happened, it doesn’t mean you immediately build your walls and hide behind them. Allow yourself to feel the pain, allow yourself to mourn it. Sadness can be cathartic, and at the end of it all, you will see how your heart doesn’t clench at the mention of their names.
Remember the good things, not the bad ones
If you broke up on amicable terms, chances are your relationship was a good one too. Sure, there are fights and cons in every relationship, but holding on to the negative only makes you resentful. When you keep the good memories, you grow from them, and it is far easier to let go when you focus on the positive.
Remind yourself that this is not the end
It does feel like the end of the world, but it isn’t. You will move on; your life is too long for you to stay stuck in this moment. You’ll learn that, not in a day, but slowly you will. If this didn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be, which means there is something better out there.
Get a hobby, go outside
Sounds cliché, but distraction is a great way to move on. Acquire a new hobby, hang out more with your friends, maybe adopt a furry friend. While you remain preoccupied, you will not even notice how your heart heals, and before you know it, they become a distant, happy memory.
Clinical Psychologist | Author, But It’s Your Family: Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members
and Loving Yourself in the Aftermath
Like the famous song, “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do,” by Neal Sedaka in 1975, so is moving on from a break-up from someone that you love.
It takes a tremendous amount of willpower. The first and hardest thing that you need to do is go “no” contact. You cannot get over somebody if you continue to have contact with them and dangle yourself on a string.
When you go no contact, it’s excruciating; however, the healing is speeding up for you because you will learn to adjust without your partner more quickly. When we hang on and hang on, we put ourselves in the space of limbo, where we can’t really move forward and get closer to anyone else.
I would also seek therapy, read books about breaking up, write in a journal, and have a support system to talk to.
Breaking up is so hard and so painful, and it shatters our self-worth and can make us really question relationships, ourselves, and love. Get support, stay strong, know your worth, and eventually, you will move on. Do not move on before you have healed.
Most of us deal with discomfort and the disappointment of letting go of someone we love in one of two ways.
We either wallow or flee or vacillate between the two.
You know you’re wallowing if you keep stoking the fire of despair by retelling your story of woe, again and again, and again. Adding details, remembering hurts and joys, all the while picking at the scab until it bleeds. Most stories burn out after being told three times, so if you’re on your 10th telling, that means you’re adding wood to the blaze of abandonment and hurt, which is a sure way to get stuck rather than moving on.
You know you’re fleeing if instead of dealing with the emotions you’re busy as can be, hoping to convince yourself that it doesn’t matter and that you’re just fine. Yet every time you stop, for even a second, there they are, which causes you to speed up. This happens because when we run from our feelings, they follow us. Everywhere.
The good news is that there is a third option that actually helps us get past the hurt and move into new territory.
Lean in and feel what you’re feeling
When we’re wallowing, we often feel like we’re feeling, but to truly feel our feelings, we instead have to give up the story, stop trying to convince ourselves and others it’s terrible and instead accept and experience the emotional pain.
Emotional pain, when accepted, comes in waves. It rises, crests, and subsides. It is physical, and it involves letting go. In other words, you’re in your body and emotions rather than in your head crafting a better, more heart-wrenching story or distracting yourself from feeling. It is the waves of this pain that begin to wash away the hurt and fear.
The first step is often the hardest. It’s allowing yourself to feel bad, minus the futile wall that both wallowing and fleeing build. Once you lean into the real pain and experience the first wave, the pain actually begins to dissipate. Painfully slow at first but eventually in a noticeable way. Gradually, the waves grow further and further apart.
Relationship Coach | Founder and Writer, The Big Fling
Letting go of someone that you love is a very challenging thing to accomplish because love is an inexplicable force that can sometimes control emotions beyond reason. While this is true, there are certain things that one can do to eventually fully let go of someone they’ve loved in a relationship.
Disengage on social media
Social media, by definition, is a way to keep people constantly connected. If you remain friends with an ex on social media, you are inviting a constant daily reminder to think about that person. You may be in a perfectly good mood and even doing well in your attempt to forget someone, and then suddenly, you’ll log onto social media and be hit with longing and sadness. Eliminate potential setbacks by totally disengaging on social media.
Pick one memento and throw the rest away
Throughout a relationship, there are going to be items or images that hold a special place in your heart and serve as a reminder of happy times in a relationship. It could be an old T-shirt or hundreds of images on your phone.
Some relationship coaches would tell someone to get rid of all evidence of the relationship, but I don’t think that’s necessary. Life is built on memories and lessons learned from each relationship.
I believe that holding onto one pleasant memory (a single image, a single gift, or a single item) that encapsulates the relationship is a healthy way to say to yourself, It was great, but now it’s over.
Invest time in your relationship with yourself
Consider this ending as a new beginning. There is a reason that the relationship did not work out for you. Whether you broke it off or your ex did, this relationship was not serving you in a healthy way, and that is why it ended. Take this newfound time and energy that was once put into something that wasn’t helping you into things that make you feel happy, fulfilled, and free.
Many people, when they are trying to forget an ex, think that another person is a way to fulfill the void left behind by an ex. This is a bandaid rather than a solution to your problem. You need to learn how to fill the void from within. Not only will you gain confidence, but eventually, you’ll effortlessly attract someone right for you.
You can build a relationship with yourself by taking self-care days, trying out classes you’ve been dying to try, investing in your health and fitness, or simply reflecting.
Mental Health Counselor | Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Use a mantra
Mantras like “I love and approve of myself,” or “I am safe, and all is well in my world” help.
How it works:
Whenever a thought of the former beloved comes into your head, or you are tempted to call, snoop on, or otherwise connect to him/her, start repeating your mantra to yourself. Say it quickly and mindlessly as well as slowly and deliberately until you figure out what works better for you.
The mantra works because we cannot think two thoughts at the same time. The desire to re-connect lessens with time. In the meantime, be kind to yourself, brain scans have shown that the experience of a broken heart can make the former lover feel like an addictive substance.
Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin
Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor | Certified Imago Relationship Therapist
Founder, The Marriage Restoration Project
Reflect on the relationship
If you are looking to let go of someone they love and move on, to move forward, it’s helpful to reflect on the relationship and to say goodbye to the good parts and the not-so-good parts. Acknowledge the good times but also to be aware of why it may be good to move on.
You can either do this with your partner by having a conversation with them, or journal or contemplate on it yourself. This will help you achieve closure, a necessary ingredient to heal and move on. Otherwise, you may continue to harbor negative feelings and inner turmoil, hampering your future relationships, and your overall mental health.
It’s not easy to let go, but if that is the decision you have made, it is important to do it from a healthy conscious place.
Health Coach | Licensed Medical Acupuncturist, Acupuncture Jerusalem
Allow the process of grief
It’s first important to note and recognize that you can’t let go of someone you love and move on from them too quickly. Allowing the process of grief and moving on to play out is a part of ensuring that you move on in a healthy capacity that minimizes future difficulties.
Find new outlets
If you are having difficulty letting go of someone and moving on after a reasonable amount of time, you need to find new outlets to channel your energy and time into.
The problem that many people face when trying to let go of someone they love is that they don’t replace the time or energy they invested in that person into someone (or something) new. Thus, they are left with voids in their day and thoughts that inevitably lead them to focus on what was once there. This is not healthy.
Meet new people, take up a new hobby, and pursue new experiences.
This is the best way to let go of someone you love and move on – when your mind and heart are taken with new developments; you will find the pain associated with your former love subsides gradually.
Writer, Insurantly | Clinical Mental Health Counselor
Letting go of someone you love can be heartbreaking and difficult. It takes time, and that time may feel like an eternity. To not lose your mind during the mourning stage of letting go, spend time with friends, go out, and be active. Stay away from places that remind you of your past. Create new memories in new places with new friends. Being alone only brings on memories and emotions.
Don’t think that you can avoid the inevitable breakdown of emotions. It will happen. Expressing emotions is healthy, but make sure it doesn’t take over every aspect of your life. Keep control, give yourself time, then pick yourself up and carry on.
Always get closure. Feel good about why you have to let go and understand it. That doesn’t mean you have to like it; it just means you understand why you are letting go and what you are letting go of.
Certified Mental Health Consultant | Relationship Expert, Enlightened Reality
Regardless of the reason for the breakup, when you still love your ex, you must move forward. Unless you share a child (children) or other obligations, you must break off contact, at least in the beginning. There needs to be a distinction between being friends and being friendly.
Choosing to be friendly means you can, without expectations, acknowledge the love you shared and honor that time in your life by treating the other person with kindness and respect. Give yourself time to mourn the relationship and understand that love doesn’t have to end with the relationship.
Remember that just because a relationship has ended, doesn’t mean it was a failure. Hopefully, you grew as an individual and learned something to move your life forward. Then it should be considered purposeful.