50+ Signs You’ve Found “The One”

Finding “the one” is something many people think about. Whether you’re freshly single or have been with your partner for years, it’s always nice to know that you’ve found the one for you.

Of course, there’s no foolproof way to know for sure. But luckily, there are key signs which might just be the confirmation you need.

So what are the signs to look out for? Read on to find out:

A lot is written about finding your soulmate and meeting “the one.” New relationships often have magic to them. A lot of fantasies, hopes, and dreams come into the mix.

The truth of the matter is we make a choice about “the one.” It is less about finding this one person and more about making the choice over and over again in the relationship.

Relationships take effort, but there should be ease in this one. There is a flow you can get to where the day-to-day isn’t hard. You can find the energy to resolve issues and are engaged to problem-solve when things get tough.

You have found ways to disagree successfully

Resolving arguments are done in a respectful way. You have found a way to “get each other.”

Conflicts come up, and you both try to see the other’s point of view instead of only proving yourself right.

They know your history and respect your vulnerabilities

We want to choose a person that doesn’t ignite your old wounds all the time. Someone who knows your history and respects your vulnerabilities. That is the definition of finding someone that’s good for you.

Related: How to Be Vulnerable in a Relationship (According to Experts)

Compassion is a key ingredient here. “The one” should aim to be accepting and kind to you when you most need it.

You see their flaws and love them anyway

Knowing oneself and understanding your and your partner’s weaknesses is important. Tolerating their weaknesses and accepting them as a package is essential.

You want to see your partner’s flaws (not deny them) and love them anyway. This helps to build safety between the two of you. Commitment can build only when we trust and feel safe. These are the building blocks of a secret space.

Related: Trust Building Exercises for Couples (According to 9 Experts)

Only within a trusted environment can we grow and thrive. Mutual growth aids in satisfaction long term.

Lastly, your relationship with “the one” should have the agility to function within the gamut of life concerns—the ability to have fun, laugh, and enjoy the lightness of life.

Difficult things inevitably will come your way. It will take maturity to problem-solve and get through a tough time. Essentially, we want to be able to nurture all sides of a relationship, the lighthearted as well as the serious.

Related: How to Solve Relationship Problems Without Breaking Up?

Finding a life partner is no easy feat. In our fast-paced, modern world, we are so used to instant gratification and immediate results that the idea of taking the time to find a soulmate can seem like a waste of time.

But if you’re serious about finding lasting love, it’s important to slow down and savor the process. After all, you want to end up with a partner who is worth the wait!

Here are some signs that you may have found “the one”:

You have great chemistry together

When you’re together, everything just clicks. It means that the conversation between you two flows easily, you have the same sense of humor, and you enjoy each other’s company. Most importantly, it means you can connect with them on a deep level and share your thoughts and feelings freely.

A relationship built on a strong foundation of friendship and mutual respect is more likely to withstand the test of time.

You share similar values and goals

If you want the same things out of life, it will be easier to build a future together. For example, if you both value family, faith, and career success, you’ll likely have an easier time working towards common goals.

Discussing these shouldn’t feel like a chore but rather something that naturally comes up in conversation.

They are supportive of your dreams and goals

Your partner should be someone who encourages you to chase your dreams and achieve your goals. They should be cheering you on from the sidelines, offering their help and advice when needed but ultimately respecting your decisions.

A healthy relationship is one where both partners are equally invested in each other’s happiness.

Related: 10 Signs of a Good and Healthy Relationship

They make you feel comfortable being yourself

You should never have to put on a show or pretend to be someone you’re not when you’re with your partner. They should make you feel comfortable enough to just be yourself, whether you’re singing badly in the shower or having a major meltdown over a small mishap.

If they truly love you, they will love all of you—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

You’re willing to compromise

In any relationship, there will be times when you have to give and take. If you’re both willing to make small sacrifices for each other, it shows that you’re both committed to making the relationship work.

For example, maybe you’re willing to compromise where you live to be closer to your partner’s family. Or perhaps they’re willing to watch your favorite TV show even though they can’t stand it.

Whatever the case, being willing to compromise is a vital part of a healthy relationship.

Communication is easy

A big part of a lasting relationship is being able to communicate effectively with each other.

This means being able to share your thoughts and feelings openly, without fear of judgment or criticism. It also means being able to listen to your partner and really hear what they’re saying.

If you can do these things, it will be much easier to work through any challenges along the way.

You’re excited about the future

When you think about the future, you can’t imagine your life without your partner by your side.

You’re excited to see what the future holds for both of you, and you can’t wait to build a life together. Whether you’re planning to get married, have kids, or just grow old together, you’re both on the same page and eager to make your relationship last.

When you’re together, everything is better

The best thing about having someone special in your life is knowing that tomorrow will be brighter no matter what happens today.

The two of you have decided to do life together. You’ll wake up thinking and feeling like every moment matters, and you’ll know what it takes to improve things.

Being together means never worrying about the future because you have a partner who’s always got your back. It means being able to laugh at yourself when you’re not quite sure how something came out or if it was even funny. And it means being able to cry with each other over the little things that mean so much.

Conversations are always open for discussion

Having a deeper connection with someone means you can talk about anything together—topics like politics, religion, sports, and relationships.

If you want to share an experience, ask a question or vent, then you can do that confidently with each other. When you feel comfortable enough to speak openly with someone, you build trust and deepen the relationship.

This connection you share makes it easier to talk about tough topics without fear of judgment.

You’re comfortable being bored together

To be comfortable with each other, even in boredom, is a more profound acceptance of one another. The relationship is a sign of a strong bond between you. Boredom is a natural part of life, but only when there is a sense of comfort with each other does this become possible.

A person who is comfortable with their partner will accept them as they are, regardless of whether they are doing well or poorly. They will also accept themselves and their flaws.

When you’re able to actively engage in things that aren’t fun but are necessary for your life, you know you’ve found “the one.”

You’re able to talk freely about your feelings

If you can freely talk about your emotions, you know you’ve found “the one.”

Talking about your feelings is essential to building a healthy relationship. And by sharing your thoughts and feelings, you allow your partner to understand where you’re coming from.

You connect on a more personal level. It will enable you to see things through your partner’s eyes, which gives you insight into your partner’s point of view. You continue to grow closer together in your relationship.

You share the same core values

Your connection goes past their looks, the glitz and the glam of the dating phase, or whatever else they have to offer. Instead, you connect on a deeper level, and it is value-based.

Your connection might be driven by honesty, adventure, simplicity, authenticity, hard work, stability, security, love of knowledge, or love of life.

Related: What Are Core Values and How Do They Control My Life?

You’ve already passed the conflict phase

In every new relationship, there comes a point where we’re in active conflict. How you handle the conflict, communicate your needs and come to an agreement determines the strength and future of a relationship.

One way to know that you’ve found the one is moving past that first conflict with ease without either of you feeling like they’ve lost.

You share your vulnerabilities together

Whether they’re allergic to peanuts or if you can’t tolerate lactose or if they’re still hurting from the loss of their friend, or if you’re not particularly over your parents’ divorce, you and “the one” will probably know a lot of information about one another that are not public knowledge to friends and even family members.

In other words, you’re not afraid to open up to one another and share your more vulnerable side.

You plan ahead together

Not only do you plan the fun times together (trips or vacations), but also your family visits, the doctor appointments, and all those not-so-glamorous things that come with being an adult.

You are your authentic self around them

If you’ve passed the “impress me” phase where both of you are on their best behavior and trying to win over the other, and now you’re hanging out in your Sunday pajamas, drinking coffee, and enjoying some quiet time without it being super awkward, then congrats you might have found the one for you.

You do things for one another sometimes unconsciously

When you’ve found the one, you’ll realize that you’ve stopped buying certain foods because your partner does not enjoy them or when you’re grocery shopping, you find yourself heading to that aisle to pick up their favorite dessert.

When you’ve found “the one” for you, those little tweaks in your lifestyle sometimes happen naturally without you even realizing to accommodate your significant other.

You have a new best friend

When you’ve found the one, you’ll know for a fact that you have someone to rely on and trust. They will become your go-to person whenever you need help or support and vice-versa.

When something major happens in your life, you’ll find yourself eager to know their opinion.

You’re not afraid to speak up your mind

No more sleepless nights wondering if the other person will ghost, flake, or bail out on you! When you’re with the one who’s meant for you, you’ll not be afraid to speak up your mind or to be yourself, fearing rejection or misunderstanding.

You’ll feel entirely accepted and loved for who you truly are.

The relationship feels easy

A good relationship does not require effort 90% of the time on either side. You do not have to plan your words ahead or walk on eggshells when you’re around them. You just get along well, and it feels easy to be with that someone.

You’re becoming a better version of yourself

When you’re safe and secure in a relationship, instead of constantly trying to impress or please the other, you have plenty of time and energy to improve your quality of life; focus on your career, work out, take care of yourself, or go out with friends.

You stop looking

One of the most obvious signs you’ve found “the one” is that you stop looking for other people to date. You delete the dating apps and stop going out with other people. You have no interest in entertaining other suitors.

When you’ve found the one, you truly only have eyes for that person.

You can’t stop thinking about them

You find yourself daydreaming about your partner throughout the day. They are the first person you call when something exciting happens, or you face a difficult situation. You find yourself texting them first thing in the morning or right before you go to bed.

Your friends and family take notice

The people around you may start making comments about how this relationship is different or how much they love seeing you happy. The people closest to you begin to take notice when you have the right person in your life.

You are more yourself when you are with them

When you’re with the right partner, your walls come down, and you allow yourself to be vulnerable. You can completely be yourself when you are together. You don’t pass judgment on your partner, and you don’t feel judged by them.

You make future plans

When you’ve found “the one,” you are excited to plan for the future with them. You may start booking vacations together months in advance, talking about how you’ll spend the holidays, looking at a house to purchase together, or planning your dream wedding.

Planning for the future seems easy because you have certainty that you’ll be together.

The relationship seems easy

When you have found the right person, the relationship isn’t filled with drama and fights. You will still have occasional disagreements, but maintaining the relationship won’t be difficult. You’ll communicate freely and resolve conflict with ease.

Your lives become intertwined

You will fit into each other’s lives seamlessly. You’ll spend time with your partner’s friends and family and vice versa. Your friend groups may become one and the same. You’ll start building a life together.

Here are four surefire signs that you’ve found “the one” person you need to have in your life:

You communicate almost telepathically

My “one” person and I pretty much read each other’s minds. But the craziest thing is that this happened in the first week of meeting each other. This level of communication typically happens when you’ve known each other for decades, not with someone you just met.

You feel absolutely secure showing the whole spectrum of who you are in front of them

We all have our talents and shadow selves. When you meet “the one,” you will feel comfortable expressing both.

For instance, you’d let them watch you absolutely crush a work call and land a major win. But you’d also allow them to see you curled up on the couch with a tub of Ben & Jerry’s crying for no reason on a random Tuesday night.

Either way, you won’t feel ashamed because “the one” person will understand you without judging.

There is an undeniable energetic connection

We’ve all heard the old clichè “There were sparks flying between us.” But it’s absolutely true when you meet “the one.”

Up to 93% of communication is non-verbal. It’s energetic.

So when they are tuned in to the same frequency you are, you can feel that straight away. You both feel connected and drawn to each other, even if you can’t logically explain it.

Once you’ve met them, you can’t imagine your life without them

Meeting “the one” will make you feel validated and understood, almost as if you’ve woken up from deep sleep. You will want to keep this person in your life no matter what. And that’s how you know.

And I’d like to add one more thing here:

You’d reconcile quickly after an argument and move on

Meeting “the one” doesn’t mean smooth sailing for the rest of your life. Soulmates often have very different characters, so it’s normal to argue.

Related: What Happens When You Meet Your Soulmate

What would then happen is you’d reconcile quickly and move on. But don’t discount someone from being “the one” just because you argue every now and again.

Things that must change “do” change

Did you work through all the yellow flags—violations of your standards that are changeable? Did you tell your partner something was not acceptable, then notice an obvious change?

For example, your partner gave you the silent treatment when you said you didn’t want to go to a party. So, you told them the silent treatment was not okay and that they needed to discuss issues with you before they fester and build resentment.

They heard you, and you had a productive chat. Then, the next time something came up, they came to you quickly to work it out.

Related: 50+ Green Flags in a Relationship (According to Experts)

You can count on them no matter what

Your relationship isn’t perfect, but you can’t imagine going through it with anyone else.

It’s not as if “the one” will be perfect. And it’s not as if working through the problems will go perfectly, either. But deep down, you know that this person has your back. You know you can count on them, no matter what.

You know your ideas are respected, even if they disagree with you

It may take some time for issues to get worked out, but during that time, you know your ideas are respected, even if they disagree with you. You don’t have to agree on everything—you never will—but you know this person can see your point of view. And you see theirs.

Ability to be genuinely vulnerable

The underlying thread in all types of intimacy (i.e., emotional, physical, intellectual, and spiritual) is the ability to be vulnerable with our deepest thoughts, feelings, wishes, desires, and beliefs.

Vulnerability is risky because, in doing so, we risk experiencing a lot of uncomfortable feelings, like shame, guilt, anxiety, etc. So when we feel comfortable enough to take the risk of sharing, we are saying to our partners, “I trust you to take care of me in what I share with you.”

We trust they will show up in kindness and from a non-judgmental and loving place.

Ability to receive feedback about how they and you are showing up in the relationship

We’ve all heard, “You make me want to be a better version of myself.” As cliche as it sounds, when that’s actually true, you’ve likely found your match. Being able to receive feedback is so vulnerable.

It communicates that you trust the other person’s judgment, that you are invested in not just your own wellness but also their wellness, and that you are invested in the overall functioning of the partnership.

Feeling comfortable giving feedback is just as important. Being able to give feedback to your partner demonstrates that you are willing to have boundaries about what you will and will not tolerate, which usually means that the relationship is an incredibly safe space.

An important foundation of any long-lasting partnership is being willing to prioritize your own needs and wellness, too.

Genuine curiosity about who they are and how they move through the world

If you find yourself wondering how they’d perceive or enjoy something you are experiencing, that’s a really good sign. Not only does it mean that they are on your mind even when they are not with you, but it also shows interest in learning the intricacies of their internal world. It’s interesting to know all of them.

Interest in working through the hard stuff

Once “new toy syndrome” wears off, are you willing to endure the phase of the relationship where you start to have more conflict? If the answer is yes, you’ve found someone really special.

Willingness to take the good back and ride out the bumps shows an interest in growing the relationship, an interest in forming deep roots. If you’re willing to make an investment in this way, it is likely that there is a deeper connection present.

You play well together

You know how to have fun together. Whether that’s flirting, a great sexual connection, a shared hobby, or healthy banter, it’s so important that our actions (and not just our words) are an outlet for connection.

When we find that it’s easy to have more than one way to connect with a person, it’s more likely we’ve met our match.

Is there only “one”?

It is a common myth to believe that there is only one right person in the world for us. This myth is fed through media, romance novels, and more.

It has people endlessly searching for that perfect person and feeling dissatisfied when they are in a relationship or marriage, and the initial chemicals of attraction calm down.

In a world with billions of people, how could one ever be sure they were with “the one”? Before looking for a life partner, it is wise to do important preparation work.

You both have harmonious approaches to managing money

No partner is a perfect match. It’s wise, however, to find someone who matches as closely as possible to what you value and appreciate in a partner.

They are willing to invest the time and energy for you

If you find someone who is an excellent partner willing to invest the time and energy necessary to build a healthy and happy marriage, you have probably found “the one” for you.

As you practice faithfulness, navigate difficulties together, raise children, and keep your connection alive, you will be confirmed in your choice.

They have everything you want to experience with someone

Finding “the one” is everything fairytales are made of. You grow up sitting under the glow of Disney movies that always have happy endings and dashing men yearning for the same kind of love story in your future.

Then, as life unfolds, your heart is broken, and the love story you always wanted starts to fade into the distance. Maybe you’ve had your heart broken a lot of times, so you begin to doubt the sincerity of the men you are dating.

You can’t hit a target you can’t see, as they say, and you will never find “the one” if you don’t know what “the one” looks like for you and what “the one” looks like for you is deeply personal.

This is so simple, but please don’t miss the significance. You should know exactly what lights your soul on fire in a relationship before you can ever recognize “your one.”

Here are some simple things you can do to map it out right now:

Write down everything you want to experience with someone else

First, write down everything you want to experience with someone else. Get crystal clear on the details. Include physical characteristics, but focus on the kind of person you want to be with.

Make sure you have a list of non-negotiables

One more thing, and this could be the most important. Make sure you have a list of non-negotiables. These are the things you won’t tolerate. Don’t budge or settle on what you have decided.

Finding “the one” is a journey, and it should be fun! Your “the one” is closer than you think and could be just one date away.

You won’t second-guess your compatibility or love when that person shows up if you have written down what you truly desire. You will undoubtedly know that you have found “your one” because you know what “the one” means to you.

Related: How to Know if You’re Compatible With Someone (According to Experts)

I met my current husband in 2021 after being widowed for 9 1/2 years. He’d been a widower for three.

I knew I didn’t want to make bad decisions based on loneliness, so I asked God years before to protect my heart, and he did, making it clear when a man was not the right one. I’d feel absolutely nothing when they hugged me.

When I met Nick, however, it was the opposite, as if a switch that had been turned off was switched on again. I asked Nick if we could pray before each of our dates. His enthusiastic “Absolutely” won me over. Our second date was nine hours long. We couldn’t stop talking and shared things we’d never shared with anyone else.

Within six weeks, we were married.

How did we know so soon that we were meant for each other?

We pray together

My advice for anyone beginning a relationship? Bring God into it from the beginning. If God is in it, he will make it clear if that person is the one for you. Nick and I pray daily. We are amazed at the difference that makes in a relationship and marriage.

We share laughter all the time

Life is hard. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who didn’t make me laugh. Nick and I laugh together all the time. We even started laughing hysterically in the middle of the night. Shared laughter makes the tough stuff bearable.

In our first year of marriage, Nick and I have already faced illness with Covid and a diagnosis of cancer for me.

We tell each other everything—no pretense

Nick and I realized on our first date that we could talk about anything, even subjects that are uncomfortable. We tell each other everything. No pretense. No need to hide our true selves. We are totally open and honest with each other.

You feel comfortable with them

When you are with someone that isn’t quite a great match, things will be done or said that make you feel slightly uncomfortable. Maybe it’s a hint of them being offensive to others, rude to the waitstaff, or something else.

When you are with the right person, however, feelings like that don’t seem to appear. You feel comfortable being with and thinking about them.

You don’t second-guess yourself

Should I go out with him? Am I making a mistake being with her? When your partner is a good fit for you, questions like these won’t show their ugly heads.

You won’t second-guess your decision to be with the person because, deep down, you know that things are just how they’re supposed to be.

You never felt like you were being lied to

Honesty really is the best policy. And when you are in a relationship, you certainly want assurance that you aren’t being lied to. You want to be with someone that tells you the truth, even if the truth isn’t necessarily what you want to hear.

Lying comes in all forms, and trust between a couple is integral. When they are right for you, you simply trust your partner.

You imagine a future together

If you haven’t already moved in together or gotten married but think about these things fondly—and your partner is a part of these thoughts—it could be a great sign. When you can’t imagine a future with your partner in it, that is typically a sign that something isn’t right.

But when you do imagine the future with them? Them being right for you might ring a bell.

Your friends and family approve

Many people might say, “It doesn’t matter what other people think. What matters is what you think.” When it comes to relationships, this isn’t always true.

Our friends and family have insight into others, and they might be able to see things that love blinders have prevented us from seeing. So when your friends and family approve of your choice of mate, this can be a clear indicator that your significant other is “the one.”

Our heart is never too restricted within the boundary of our ribcage when it comes to expressing itself through our feelings, especially when it comes to knowing someone is the right person for us.

We, humans, are machines of interpretation. We are wired to experience mood swings, connect to different emotions, etc. Apart from this self-awareness we have, we can also look at people and pick up signals.

It could be the way they touch us, the way they look at us, the way they take our jokes seriously, their care towards us, the amount of time they share with us, the type of compliments they give us, etc.

All of those energies feed our assurance and prepare us for making the right decision.

These signs will help you know someone is “the one” for you:

When they show interest in your plans and want to help make your dreams come true

When you tell this person your plans and dreams and this person takes it upon themself to give you the assistance you need, encourages you to do what is best for you, and lets you have the time you need to realize your goals. It is a sign you have found the one.

When they can remember almost everything about you

You will be surprised by the amount of information they have about you. These could be discussions you’ve had in the past, things you said jokingly, special events in your life (birthdays, memorials, etc.), hobbies, favorite dishes, etc.

When someone holds onto these details and reminds you of them, it means you are special to them. This is because our mind will only choose to hold onto things that matter most to us and discard all other things. This is one reason why people forget people’s names easily.

When you can no longer stand their absence

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Our heart knows and wants what it wants when you can’t stand a day without hearing or reading from him or her.

When they always remain in your mind even without communication. You definitely know you are in love with that person. This may be because you need their reassurance to be yourself.

Related: Why Do I Need Constant Reassurance in a Relationship? (50+ Reasons From Experts)

When you can just be free to tell him or her anything

This is because this person gives you the attention you want and also a listening ear to your long talk, gossip, and all. You know you have a friend in them who can keep your secrets without telling anyone. Your level of trust in them increases.

When you can answer “the question”

“You really love him or her, don’t you?” Although no name was mentioned when this question was said to your face, someone came to your mind at that moment. That is another way you can know.

You’re comfortable doing boring stuff together

Yes, doing cool and exciting things with your partner is undoubtedly great for creating that special bond, especially in the early phases of your relationship.

However, you know they are the ones when you’re comfortable doing boring stuff—or even absolutely nothing—together. With “the one,” you feel totally at peace.

You can accept and tolerate their flaws

There’s a difference between ignoring someone’s flaws because you’re otherwise smitten with them, noticing their imperfections, and loving them otherwise. Of course, you never want to disregard red flags, but you want to be with someone whose flaws you find manageable in the long run.

If you find yourself not being bothered by things that would irritate you if someone else was doing them, it’s a good sign you’ve met the “one.”

You have the same core values

The one will have the same core values as you do.

As you do this exercise, you will learn more about yourself and each other and whether you are aligned with the core of who you are.

You share the same purpose in life

We all have multiple purposes in our lives, both professionally and personally.

What purpose do you have as a couple? Do you both share the same purpose in your life? Do this exercise together.

Each of you writes your eulogy and then shares it to see what is the same and what is different about what you want for your life. Do they align, or are they extremely different?

Here is a sign about whether or not you have the right person in your life. If you really want to do these exercises and they don’t want to, you may have a problem because one of you is interested in self-awareness and the other is not.